consider how small you are
compared to your scream
the human dream
doesn’t mean shit to a tree
I had a king dressed in drip-dry and paisley
Lately he’s taken to saying I’m crazy and blind
He lives in another time
Ladies in gingham still blush
While he sings them of wars and wine
But I in my leather and lace
I can never become that kind
I fear rejection and disappointment. I don’t take as many chances and I’m not as optimistic anymore, I’m realistic.
I’m finding that I will find a way to Colorado this summer. I’m finding that I will go to a college and be okay, even though I’ll have to stay in Connecticut. I’m finding that I already know all the things and I already love myself, I just don’t trust others to see what I see. I know that if they don’t, they don’t, and that’s okay. The ones that do are the ones that matter. Sometimes it’s hard to put that into a present moment, though.
But I know it, and that’s the first step, isn’t it.
I’m jamming to the Format and feeling optimistic and hopeful, that happy feeling that can almost make me cry.