it’s interesting how it’s not uncommon to be broken down so much in faith and trust in a certain kind of person that eventually, you let the notion and idea of it go completely. it’s most likely unobtainable, so why bother? or is it simply fear that is holding you back?
and to have been so far down a hole that the mere idea of happiness and comfort that can be attributed to another human that can not be relied on… is repulsive. the immediate reaction is to run, to attack, to flee, to ambush, to retreat.